Fertility Blog

Time For A Donor

I have learned that things in life do not always turn out the way you might have thought that they would. What seems to be the "standard" life may not be so easy to attain. I just turned 45 years old and have just found out that I am pregnant for the second time since working with Dr. Chenette. We have a four year old son who we conceived the "old-fashioned" way after Dr. Chenette removed a polyp from my uterus. We wanted a second child, and somehow I thought that if we did it once, we could do it again. I have of lost track of the cycles, but over several years, we have done IVF at least 3 times with several incomplete cycles and hysteroscopies in between. After failing the 2nd IVF, egg donation came up in our meeting with Dr. Chenette. My husband was ready to do it the next day because the odds were much better. I was more hesitant and felt that I needed to try a 3rd IVF cycle with "my eggs" first. In the meantime, we entered counseling and I joined a donor support group. The counselor was wonderful and so was the support group. The idea of egg donation grew comfortable for me as an option. After our 3rd cycle failed, we started looking for a donor. Although a strange process, something became clear. The look, the height, the intelligence etc., were not as important as just finding a nice, happy person who seemed to approach life the way that I do. I looked for "nice eyes"- for I believe they tell you about a person. We found a donor and I really like her. Now, everyone probably works through this process in their own way, and that is the point. To find what you and your partner are comfortable with, and to take it one day at a time. I try not to worry - it's easier and more fun to be positive. I envisioned myself at this point in my life to be like a Mrs. Cleaver with a couple of kids and a fancy hairdo like a grown-up. But I met my husband later in life (and learned a lot up until then...). I still feel young. I am healthy and we all really want a second child. We are hoping that it is meant to be, and we are grateful to Dr. Chenette, the special nurses (Sue, Ann, Pat, Carol and the rest), and the nice staff at PFC for their services and their support.

--A.W. in Oakland

Posted on November 24th, 2003

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